How Fibromyalgia Can Affect Marital Intimacy

Fibromyalgia can be devastating for those who suffer from this painful and debilitating condition. Fibromyalgia can take a toll on the body, both physically and mentally. It can also strain the healthiest of marriages.

Fibromyalgia affects how you cope with your life on a daily basis. Being unable to perform normal activities can cause frustration and depression. The spouse who must “pick up the slack” in terms of household duties and child care may feel angry or resentful if they do not understand that it is not by choice that the person with fibromyalgia can no longer perform many of their usual activities.

Financial worries can also become a burden when fibromyalgia robs a person of their ability to work. The physically unaffected spouse may feel as though they bear the burden of supporting the family. The person suffering from fibromyalgia may feel guilty if they can no longer contribute financially. These feelings can boil over into anger, depression and resentment.

Intimacy almost always suffers when a spouse is affected with a condition that causes chronic pain and fatigue. If relations are already strained, lack of intimacy may worsen the problems already present. Lack of intimacy can be a drain on self-confidence and may also be a symptom that there are other problems that require work.

How can one go about maintaining an intimate relationship while coping with fibromyalgia?

• Make time for each other
• Communicate feelings, even negative ones, in a way that does not place blame on either spouse
• Take advantage of “good days” when symptoms are at a tolerable level
• Seek outside help if problems seem insurmountable

Fibromyalgia does not need to spell an end to intimacy, but may require greater attention to each other’s feelings and needs. Open communication can prevent feelings of anger, blame, depression and frustration from placing additional strain on a marriage.